Pissed and dissed: Cis-woman’s righteous video rant goes viral

Aimée Toms

Aimée Toms is outraged after being disrespected in a Connecticut Walmart bathroom by a bigoted woman who mistakenly thought she was transgender, Toms is putting the blame for this incident squarely on the stigma caused by bathroom bills.

*This incident occurred last year and is edited to reflect that.

Toms said the woman said, “you are not supposed to be here, you need to leave.”

The 22-year-old Naugatuck, Connecticut, resident said she replied, “Yes I do.” Toms said the woman then flipped her off, called her “disgusting” and stormed out of the bathroom.

“I realized when I was washing my hands, ‘holy s**t she just thought I was somebody who was transgender,” Toms says in the video.

Toms believes the transphobia that she experienced can be blamed on bathroom bills such as North Carolina’s HB2.

“She thought I was a dude who was hiding in the woman’s bathroom,” Aimée Toms said in her video recalling her first-hand experience with transphobia. Her message resonated with a lot of people as it now has more than a quarter of a million views since posted last May.

Toms said that she understands why she might be initially mistaken for a transgender woman because of her short hair and the fact that she was wearing a baseball cap, but said that anyone who looked at her would soon realize that she was a cisgender woman.

Even if she was transgender, though, she doesn’t think anyone should be treated as disrespectfully as she was by the woman in the Danbury Walmart. Toms said she was always an advocate for transgender people, but her encounter really opened her eyes.

“I was a victim of transphobia today as a cisgender female because of my hair,” Toms said. “After today and after experiencing firsthand the discrimination they face, I cannot fathom how much discrimination transgender people must face in a lifetime.”

Toms railed against laws across the country that prevent people from using the bathrooms that match the gender with which they identify. She took issue with the idea that people would use the laws as an excuse to enter a women’s bathroom and commit a crime.

“If a guy was going to commit a crime in a women’s bathroom, this law isn’t going to invite them to do it. They’re gonna do it anyways. This law was not in place a year ago when I almost got raped in a bathroom because a man followed me into the women’s room,” she said. “There was no transgender bathroom law that was telling him to go into the women’s room and sexually assault me. He just did it because he was an awful person and he wanted to violate someone.”

“I can’t understand why it’s so hard to just accept someone for who they are,” Toms said. “I don’t wish death on people, I don’t wish illness on people because I believe in karma. However, I will wish you the misfortune and disrespect that you hand out to come straight back to you because you deserve nothing good in this world if you’re going to treat another human being like that.”

Editor in Chief at

Kelli Busey an outspoken gonzo style journalist has been writing since 2007. In 2008, she brought the Dallas Advocate on-line and has articles published by the Reconciling Ministries Network, The Transsexual Menace, The Daily Kos, Frock Magazine the TransAdvocate, the Dallas Voice and The Advocate. Kelli, an avid runner is editor in chief at Planet Transgender which she founded in 2007.

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